


Skeleton Key

by imagining_supernatural



Series: Skeleton Key [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crowley being a dick, Depression, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Smut, but a kinda lovable one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 16:44:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16957752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagining_supernatural/pseuds/imagining_supernatural
Summary: You hunt with Sam and Dean, but haven't told them about your past. On a hunt, suddenly you have to face everything when you use your secret hellhound commands to save their lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**~TWELVE YEARS AGO~**

          “You sure you’re good to drive?” Your mother asked. “It’s pretty late.”

          You shrugged. “Yeah. I’m good. I’ve got my caffeine. Besides, Grandma’s waiting for us and you and Dad can’t drive.”

          “She’s got a point,” your father slurred, stumbling into his wife. “Let’s go change and hit the road.”

          Your mother hesitated until you jerked your head toward the house. “Go on. I don’t think you wanna wear  _that_  for a five hour car trip at midnight. Get some sweats.”

          Reluctantly, your tipsy mother followed her husband into the house to change out of their black tie clothing. You’d been expecting this. After all, your father’s boss wasn’t known for his alcohol-free company parties.

          Sure, you’d only had your license for a few months, but you knew the way to Grandma’s house, and your parents could sleep through the music you would blast to stay awake. You needed to be there by the morning. So when your parents came out of the house in their sweats and t-shirts, you were ready.

          Three hours passed uneventfully. Only a handful of cars were on the highways and you were jamming to your favorite music. Everything was going smoothly.

          Then there were squealing tires, bright headlights, and a sudden blackout.

**~NOW~**

          “So… what? There’s a demon in town getting the humans to do its bidding?  _This_  town? This is—was the most Christian, God-fearing town I’ve ever seen,” Sam shook his head.

          “It’s not that far of a stretch,” you defended your theory. “People will do just about anything if they have the right incentive.”

          “Kinda like Ruby, eh, Sammy?” Dean leaned back and chuckled without humor. There was a note in his voice that made you think whatever story was there didn’t end well.

          Looking between the brothers, you hedged. “Ruby? Who’s Ruby?”

          “It doesn’t mat—“ Sam began, but Dean cut him off.

          “She was a demon that tricked Sammy here into sleeping with her then starting the damn apocalypse.”

          “Oh.” There was more anger when Dean talked about Sam sleeping with a demon than him starting the apocalypse. Maybe it was best to keep some parts of your past to yourself. “Well, like I said. Demons have a way of getting people to do what they want. It’s not completely your fault, Sam.”

          “About  _this_  case,” Sam said, hoping to get everyone back on the present and not the past. You were completely fine with that. “Where would we find the demon doing all of these things? I mean, one powerful enough to make a bunch of Bible-thumping people start killing their friends, stealing from everyone, and actually burn down the church?”

          “Probably where the church used to be,” you offered. The brothers waited for your explanation. “C’mon. It’s not that hard. This town practically revolved around that church. This demon focused on this town, so its target was probably the church. Getting everyone to burn it down was probably a way that it had everyone pledge their devotion to it or something. So it’s probably holed up on the ruins to show that it won. It has the town.”

          Dean shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

          After a few hours of exhausting every other alternative, the three of you decided that your idea was the most sound and started planning your next move.

**~NINE YEARS AGO~**

          He was late. He was never late.

          You glanced around the dark alley, trying to calm your shaking hands. Staying past the meeting time was probably not wise, but you were desperate. You’d used up the last of your stash yesterday and your high hadn’t lasted. Sober Y/N was not someone you liked. She remembered too many things.

          “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” you muttered, folding your arms in front of you and hopping from foot to foot. It was freezing on top of the awful withdrawal. If you didn’t bring  _something_  back, you were sure to get kicked out. If that happened, there was no doubt that you wouldn’t make it through the night.

          The thin jacket you wore did nothing to help against the soft, white flakes that had been falling for the last ten minutes. You were already soaked to the bone.

          How had your life gotten to this point? Waiting for a shady drug dealer behind an even shadier bar in the middle of winter? Had it started the moment your parents were killed? Or as soon as the EMTs administered your first dose of pain killers at the scene of the accident?

          What was the point of going back to Devin’s cramped apartment when you knew he was just going to throw you out anyway? You turned toward the mouth of the alley, resigned to spending the night shivering between a dumpster and a frozen brick wall somewhere.

          Then you saw someone walking toward you. He was out of place with the confident walk, high-end suit, and spark of life in his eye. You skittered back, keeping an eye on him. Maybe he would walk past you. You weren’t anything special. You weren’t worth his time.

          But he came to a stop right in front of you. A playful smile danced around his lips. “You look like you need some help, love.”

          His British accent calmed you almost immediately and you found yourself reaching forward and placing your hand in his.

**~NOW~**

          Sam motioned for you and Dean to go to the right as he went left. Nodding, you followed the elder Winchester. You gun was loaded with devil’s trap bullets, you had a vial of holy water in your pocket, and an exorcism ready to play on a loop on your phone.

          Traversing the ruins of the church, you fought to keep from coughing. The acrid smell of smoke still lingered, clinging to the fallen walls and scorched pillars.

          Nearly half an hour passed until you met up with Sam again where the chapel used to stand. None of you had found any sign of the demon.

          “I just don’t get it,” Sam whispered.

          “I was wrong,” you shrugged. “It happens. The demon must be holed up somewhere else.”

          “No, not that. It’s just… why would the demon make such a big show of this? It must have known that hunters would show up.”

          Dean tilted his head thoughtfully. “Maybe that was the point. It wants to draw us out. It wants to kill us.”

          “All demons want to kill us, Dean,” Sam pointed out. You shifted uncomfortably. “But why here? Why  _this_  town?”

          “Good question,” a voice echoed from behind you. All three of you whirled around, guns pointed at the newcomer. When you saw who it was, your gun slowly lowered. The demon grinned at you. “I think Y/N can answer that question, can’t you?  _Why_  this city?  _Why_  did I make such a big spectacle?”

          The Winchesters glanced at you from the corner of their eyes, but kept their attention on the demon. She laughed and strolled down the aisle between the charred benches. “Have you figured it out yet? Put the pieces together?”

**~EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS AGO~**

          “What are you talking about?” You demanded, sitting up and staring at Crowley like he’d grown a second head.

          The King of Hell groaned and fell further back into the pillows. “You heard me.”

          “I heard you, but I don’t understand. You want me to go back  _there_? To leave you? Why? Did I do something wrong? Talk to the wrong demons?” You ran through dozens of reasons why Crowley would want you to leave Hell. Sure, you weren’t the best… girlfriend? You weren’t really dating him… Crowley didn’t do relationships. But nothing you’d done explained why he was kicking you out and ending this arrangement.

          “Are you hearing yourself? You’re a human, Y/N. You shouldn’t even be talking to demons at all.”

          “Yeah, well I think we established that I’m a pretty shitty human the night we met. You’ve got to be kidding me right now.” Furious with him, and even more angry with yourself, you shoved the covers away and snatched your clothes from the floor. “You’re sending me back topside where I was ready to die from hypothermia? Where I couldn’t function without  _something_  in my system? Where I killed my parents? You—you—you. I can’t believe you right now.”

          “What did you expect?” Crowley looked so relaxed, like he didn’t even care that he was tearing your life apart. “I’m the King of Hell, darling.”

          Then it clicked. “She threatened me again, didn’t she? Shailene? You think you’re protecting me. My god, you’re an idiot.”

          He opened his mouth, but you didn’t want to hear any excuses.

          “Whatever. I get it. King of Hell. Demons come first. I’m just a stupid human. Send me back.”

**~NOW~**

          You kept your jaw clenched. This bitch was about to ruin everything for you. You finally had a life that was kind of worth living. A reason to get up in the mornings. People who cared for you. It had been twelve years since you’d had any semblance of a home or family, but you’d found it with the Winchesters.

          “What do you want?” You growled.

          “Ooh. She speaks,” Shailene laughed.

          “Y/N, what’s going on?” Sam never took his eyes from the demon in front of you three. She had stopped coming forward, but still commanded attention.

          Shailene grinned. “Yes, Y/N. What  _is_  going on?”

          When you didn’t answer, she pouted and waved her hands. Growls filled the ruined room and Sam and Dean immediately stepped closer, closing ranks.

          “Tell them, or I’ll have my mutts tear your little friends apart while you watch.”

          “You jealous bitch!” you snapped “You really think that you’re going to get out of this? That I don’t know how to handle myself against a lowlife, ground-level demon like you? I’m not scared of you. You  _never_  scared me.”

          She regarded you carefully before casually glancing toward one of the hellhounds. “Go for the tall one.”

          Sam immediately took aim for the invisible advancing canine so you only had a second to think. Scratch that. You didn’t even have a second to think. You couldn’t think. You just reacted. Leaping sideways, you pushed the barrel of Sam’s gun up so it discharged into the sky.

          “Eureun!” You shouted at the hellhound, and all movement ceased.

          “Y/N what are you—“ Sam cut off when he realized that the hellhound wasn’t ripping him apart. “What did you…”

          “I’ll explain later,” you mumbled, not looking forward to that conversation  _at all_.

          “Neat trick,” Shailene tried to recover from the shock of you foiling her plan.

          “Did you really think that was going to work?” You asked, advancing on her. She stood her ground, glaring at you. “That I didn’t pick up some tricks? Did you think that he was going to leave me defenseless against you? You can’t handle the thought that he picked  _me_. That even after I left, you didn’t have a shot with him.”

          “Y/N,” Dean started. You waved your hand back at him to shut him up.

          Shailene straightened, trying to use her height on you. You lived with the Winchesters though. You knew how to be strong and short. “Then why aren’t you with him right now?”

          “Why aren’t you?” You shot back. “And why do  _your_  hounds obey my commands over yours? I’ll tell you. Because I have the King of Hell on my side still and if he knew what you were doing, he wouldn’t be happy at all. I’ll save you his torture, though.”

          You stepped away from her. Your command was barely a whisper, but the hell hounds heard it just fine. “Panarajang.”

          Seconds later, the invisible hounds leapt forward and ripped at Shailene’s meatsuit. That wouldn’t kill the demon inside of her, though. Good thing Crowley had taught you more than those two commands, though. “Maehan!”

          Almost immediately, the claw and teeth marks started ejecting black smoke. A few anti-climactic seconds later and both the meatsuit and demon were scraps.

          “What. The. Hell?” Dean asked hesitantly. He and Sam were both still in fighting stances, ready for action. “Hellhounds? You can control hellhounds. And who the hell was that demon?”

          “What did you mean about the King of Hell being on your side?” Sam cut in.

          You sighed, all of the Shailene-related tension seeping out of your body. The explaining-to-the-Winchesters tension still remained though. As you opened your mouth to being explaining, an invisible force nudged at your hip and you remembered the hounds. You knelt down and felt around until you could pet their heads. Then you sent them home with a single word. “Imah.”

          When you looked up at Sam and Dean, they were watching you with jaws on the floor.

**~THREE HOURS LATER~**

          “Showered, fed, now it’s time for an explanation.” Dean pulled up a chair at sat in front of where you were seated on the bed of the hotel. Sam was on the other bed. As soon as Dean sat, Sam scooted forward until you were facing both Winchesters.

          How to explain this? “Remember when you told me about Ruby? Well… I kinda had a thing with Crowley.”

          Dean sputtered. “Wh—how—but—With Crowley? Seriously?”

          “He saved my life,” you defended the demon. “I was in a really bad place, and he took me in. We were kinda a thing in Hell for six months until he kicked me out because Shailene, that was the demon today, kept getting insanely jealous and threatening me. Crowley thought I would be safer topside.”

          “Wait, wait, wait,” Dean held up a hand. “Go back to  _Crowley_?”

          “He saved my life, Dean.”

          You caught Sam’s eye and saw a degree of understanding in them, but he definitely wasn’t on the same page that you were. They would definitely need something more. Your bare essentials explanation wasn’t cutting it.

          “I haven’t seen him for nearly nine years. After my parents died, I was a complete wreck. I got addicted to drugs. Anything I could get my hands on. Homeless, penniless, and one night my dealer didn’t show. If I didn’t show up to my friend’s place with drugs, I knew they would kick me out. It was the middle of December and I knew that I was going to die that night. Crowley came to me and took me in. He took me to Hell and groomed me to be the perfect human pet. But, I don’t know, things changed. There might have actually been feelings for both of us. He kicked me out. I was mad and learned to hunt just so I could kill all of his demons out of petty spite. A few years later, I met you guys and you know the rest.”

          “And the hellhounds?” Sam asked after a pregnant pause.

          “Crowley taught me his personal commands. Kinda like the Skeleton Key of hellhound commands. I know you guys don’t like him. I understand why. But he saved my life. I’m not gonna apologize for that. So if you can’t get past this, I think we should part ways now.”

          There was utter silence in the room. Both Winchesters had their poker faces on. They didn’t want you to be able to read their thought processes. And you didn’t actually want them to decide right away. Emotions were high right now. Things were confusing. You wanted to stay. You liked working with them. But if you made them choose right now, you had a feeling that they would send you on your way.

          “Think about it, okay? Let me know in the morning.” You stood and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind you. Leaning against it, you could hear the murmur of the boys talking to each other. God, you hoped they would let you stay.

          You brushed your teeth and combed your hair. When you came out of the bathroom, you fully expected to be sleeping on the couch, instead of sharing a bed with one of the boys. But Sam waved you over. “Jump on in. We’ve kinda gotten used to having you around. So, weird crush on Crowley or not, you’re still family.”

          “I don’t have a crush on him,” you muttered, climbing under the covers with Sam.

          “Yeah right,” Sam nudged your shoulder playfully. There was still the undercurrent of tension in the room. You figured it would be there for a while until this blew over. But they were letting you stay. That was all that mattered.

          From the other side of the room, you heard Dean shift in bed. “Seriously?  _Crowley_?”


	2. Chapter 2

**~THE NEXT MORNING~**

          “I stopped at that diner down the road for breakfast,” you announced, walking into the hotel room with bags in both hands. “That cute guy who was there yesterday wasn’t working today, sadly. But I’m sure the food will taste just as good.”

          At the smell of bacon, Dean groaned like a zombie and nearly fell out of bed as he tried to stand. Sam, surprisingly, was still asleep. But he woke quickly when Dean climbed over his bed to get to the food. Once everyone was seated at the table and happily munching on bacon, omelets, and toast, it was still a few minutes until the Winchesters were awake enough to hold a conversation.

          “So, since you can control hellhounds,” Dean started and you nearly groaned. Apparently it was too much to hope that things could just go back to normal. “Does that mean that you could keep one as a pet and we could use it on hunts? The ultimate weapon.”

          Stars sparkled in his eyes at the idea of having a domestic hellhound.

          “If you could convince a demon to part with one of their hounds, then sure.”

          “Couldn’t you just… command it away from them?”

          For all of the time he spent in hell, and running from hounds himself, it was surprising that Dean didn’t know much of anything about how hellhounds functioned.

          “Only for a short time. Loyalty is a big thing for hellhounds. The Skeleton Key commands—“

          “Crowley’s  _personal_  commands,” Sam interjected, wiggling his eyebrows at you as if that insinuated anything. The Winchesters teasing you about Crowley was their way of dealing with the new information about your past. If they didn’t tease you, they would probably get mad at you. You could handle it for now.

          “The  _Skeleton Key_  commands only work for a few minutes. If you want a hound as a pet, you have to win its loyalty. That’s nearly impossible to do unless the owner freely gives up control.”

          Dean finished off the bacon and sat back in his chair, studying you carefully. The mood in the room sobered minutely and you pretended not to notice. Finally, Dean leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, eyes locked on you. “You know a  _lot_  about hellhounds. Did Crowley teach you all of this?”

          It was obvious that Crowley taught you. You knew that Dean wanted to know  _why_. So you answered his unasked question. “I was his pet. He wanted me to stay safe and Hell isn’t a safe place for humans. There were demons, like Shailene yesterday, who were jealous that a human was warming their King’s bed instead of a demon.”

          “That’s it?” Sam got in on this new direction of conversation. “He didn’t teach you the commands for any other reason?”

**~NINE YEARS AGO~**

          “I don’t see anything.” You’d been in Hell for three days. Oddly enough, it wasn’t what you pictured Hell to be. Of course, your life on Earth had been a living hell, and this was much better. If you’d lived a better life, perhaps you would have gotten the  _Hell vibes_  from this place.

          But you actually thought that you could grow to like it here.

          “Of course you don’t. They’re hellhounds,” Crowley replied with an eye roll. “You can only see them if—“

          “Your ten years from your deal are up. Yeah. I got it. I’ve been listening.”

          If you took a step back from the situation and looked at it from the outside, everything would have been ridiculous. You were in Hell, with the King of Hell, talking about hellhounds. What a hell of a time.

          A few days ago, you would have said this was impossible. And you still weren’t convinced it was actually happening. Withdrawals were… well, hell. You’d only tried to quit once before, but that turned out to be a major failure. The three days you spent without anything in your system were the worst days you could remember.

          Maybe this was just a withdrawal-induced hallucination.

          “Y/N,” the King’s annoyed voice broke you out of your reverie. “Focus, darling. These commands could save your life one day.”

          “Why do you care?”

          Crowley raised his eyebrows while tucking his chin down. The look probably worked on his demons. They probably cowered at his,  _You dare question me?_ look, but you didn’t particularly care. What could he do to you that was worse than what you’d been through? Kill you? You’d welcome it.

          “Really. Why do you care about me? If I live or die? I’m just a human. And a pretty shitty one at that.”

          He considered his answer for a moment. Then he shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re nice to look at.”

          “Whatever.” His compliment didn’t even register. If he didn’t want to answer your question, then you didn’t care. “What’s the next hellhound command?”

**~NOW~**

          “He wasn’t in love with me, if that’s what you’re asking.” There was no way that Crowley could be in love with you. That was a human emotion. “I guess I wasn’t even a  _pet_  as much as a political statement. He’s never been the most conventional demon. You guys know that. So choosing a human over a demon as a bed buddy was really controversial. He was protecting his… his… his political position, I guess.”

          “And you were okay with that?” Sam asked, forehead wrinkling. “Being a political pawn?”

          You thought back to that night in the alley. You’d been ready to die. Some part of you was even looking forward to it. In your mind, you had killed your parents. You deserved worse than death.

          “I—I wasn’t in the best place back then. I was an addict, I was depressed, and I was starting to feel suicidal. My life was spiraling and then Crowley came along and he was commanding. He offered me structure. I didn’t have to think or make decisions, which was a relief because I made horrible decisions.”

          Those months you spent in Hell had changed your life.  _Crowley_  had changed your life.

          “Then he kicked me out which gave me a reason to get up in the mornings, even if it was only to kill all of his demons. So… yeah. I was okay with it. It changed the pathway my life was on for the better.”

          “Okay, this just got weird,” Dean said. “Crowley being the good guy?”

          “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s move onto something else.” You  _really_ hoped they would agree. Talking about Crowley with the Winchesters was quickly becoming one of your least favorite things to do.

**~THREE MONTHS LATER~**

          “C’mon, guys. It’s time to go.”

          Sam groaned from where he was lying face down on the mattress. Dean’s assenting growl came from the other bed. Yesterday you somehow managed to be in a different part of the house from where the fighting went down on this hunt. Sam and Dean got the brunt of it, and their muscles were protesting any movement.

          “Cas needs us in Cali in two days, remember? Let’s get a move on.”

          Still, they didn’t move. You knew better than to try and move them yourself. You were strong, but the Winchesters were like a ton of bricks. There was no way you could roll them off the beds, out the door, and into the car by yourself.

          So you just needed to come up with a plan B.

          “If you don’t get your asses out to the car, I’m leaving without you. That means I’m driving your baby, Dean.”

          “Hell no, you’re not!” He sprung up and leaped for his jacket where the keys to the Impala were. “You’re not  _touching_  the steering wheel. You don’t even get to  _look_  at the steering wheel.”

          “You crash a car one time,” you mutter, shaking your head and grabbing your bag. “Sam, let’s go.”

          While Dean started pulling Sam off the bed—anything to keep you out of the driver’s seat—you headed to the front door. A burst of laughter jumped out of your mouth when Dean’s threats to get Sam moving started getting ridiculous (“I swear, if you aren’t ready to go in ten seconds, I’m putting a pickle in every cup of coffee you drink for the next month”).

          The laughter slowly died when you opened the door and saw someone standing there, arm raised to knock.

          “Oh, hello love.”

 _Crowley_.

**~NINE YEARS AGO~**

          “I could really use a massage,” Crowley hinted.

          You just turned a page in your TIME magazine and hummed in agreement. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

          A moment passed during which you could feel Crowley staring at you in impatient annoyance. “It’s been a long day. A long massage right now would really help me unwind.”

          “I’m sure it would,” you murmured disinterestedly.  At his heavy sigh, you finally looked up. “You’re not my king. I’m still human. You don’t get to tell me what to do unless we’re both naked.”

          Three months in hell and you were getting antsy. You had no idea what it was, but Crowley was getting on your nerves. He was always demanding that you do things for him, which had been fine for the first few weeks. But something was changing.

          “Excuse me?”

          “You heard me.” The sudden urge to defy him came as a surprise to both of you. You’d been perfectly content to be the perfect pet up until a few days ago. The dark spark that flashed across his eyes unfurled a roiling storm deep inside you, exciting you.

          “What exactly do you think is going on here, Y/N?” Crowley asked in measured tones.

          “I think that I’m reading about the penguin population on Antarctica and you’re trying to get me to give you a massage.”

          “Exactly. So get over here.”

          “No.”

          Your magazine jerked out of your hands and flew across the room. Crowley was nearly glaring at you. “What did you say?”

          “I’m not one of your demons. You can’t control me.”

          Suddenly you were following the pathway of your magazine, body flying across the room until your back hit the wall and some invisible force was holding you still. You couldn’t move and were completely under Crowley’s mercy.

          Tracking him as he stalked toward you, you found that you didn’t mind one bit. “Would you like to try that again?”

          The familiar heat was uncurling inside you, as it always did when Crowley took charge. Normally, you would play along and do as he said. But you were feeling rebellious today. From the growing bulge in his pants, you could tell that Crowley was getting as turned on as you were.

          “You heard me the first time. So unless you’re gonna come over here and make me change my mind…”

          With a snap of his fingers, your clothing was gone and the cool air caressed your skin. Finally you were getting somewhere.

          “It’s time to show you what happens when you don’t obey my commands, darling.” Another snap of his fingers freed your body and you nearly fell onto the floor. “On your knees.”

          He decisively and leisurely undid his belt as you sank to the ground in front of him.

          This was going to be a lesson you might have to have repeated a few times until it actually sank in, you thought to yourself, looking forward to the next time already.

**~NOW~**

          “What are you doing here?” You tried to sound casual, but seeing him unexpectedly brought up old emotions, and you weren’t sure how to deal with them.

          “Sorry to just barge in on you like this,” he said, literally barging in. He pushed past you and your arm tingled where his had touched yours. “But I need to talk to the Winchesters and I can’t wait until you go off on one of your solo hunts.”

          Hold up. “You know that I—are you watching me?”

          “Of course.” He looked just so damned in control of himself. You could barely form a coherent sentence thanks to your surprise, and Crowley had all of the control.

          “Why?” Sam asked, fully awake now.

 _That_  was a good question.

          Crowley looked over at Sam for a moment before locking his eyes back on yours. “She’s nice to look at, Moose.”

          A tiny smile tried to pull up the corner of your mouth at the reminder of the first few days you spent in Hell. Then you saw Dean’s glower and Sam’s eye-roll and managed to keep it under wraps.

          “Whatever. You wanted to talk to the Winchesters. I’ll go pack the car.” You had only taken one step when it occurred to you that you normally would have found a witty quip just to get the last word. Crowley being here was throwing you off. That couldn’t happen. However, none of the quips you came up with were remotely witty. You would just have to settle, then. “And don’t worry, Dean. I won’t look at the steering wheel.”

          None of the men said anything until you were out of the room. With a door between you and Crowley, you could finally breathe.

 _What the hell?_!? You mentally yelled at yourself. Crowley shows up and you turn into a nervous schoolgirl with a crush—no. No crush. You didn’t like Crowley. He kicked you out when you needed him the most. You spent the last nine years killing every demon you could get your hand on. That wasn’t a crush.

          That was hate.

          As you dropped your duffel on the ground by the truck and leaned up against the car, facing away from the hotel room, you slowed down and took stock of your emotions.

          Logically, you knew this was hate. But your heart didn’t seem to agree.

          He had been your hero. Crowley swooped into your life when you were at your lowest and fixed you up again. You might hate him, but you couldn’t deny that some part of you loved him for that.

          A few minutes later, the hotel room door opened and Crowley strode out. His purposeful steps toward you gave you enough time to build up your defenses.

          “I heard about Shailene. Good work.”

          “That’s why you finally came to see me? Because she’s dead? You know, I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type to be scared of one of your demons, but I guess I can be wrong sometimes too.” As soon as the words were out of your mouth, you realized your mistake. Goading Crowley in the past had only served to get him annoyed enough to fuck you. And, judging by the way he shifted his stance, old habits die hard.

          “Do you know why I threw you out, Y/N?” He asked in a low, dark voice. “It wasn’t because I thought Shailene or any other demons would kill you. I knew that you could hold your own. You were whole again and you didn’t belong in Hell.”

          “So why come back now? Don’t think you fooled me with the  _I need to talk to the Winchesters_  crap. You came to see me.”

          “Getting cocky, are we?” He came closer until he was only a foot away. “You think that I want you back.”

          Nine years. You should have gotten over him in nine years. But here you were with barely any defenses against him. From the corner of your eye, you saw the curtains in the hotel room move and one of the boys peek through, watching the scene.

          “I’m with the Winchesters now.”

          “I know.”

          “They hate you.”

          “I know.”

          “I hate you.”

          “No you don’t,” Crowley growled. He snuck his hand behind your neck and pulled you in for a bruising kiss. You gripped the lapels of his suit jacket as you kissed him back. Memories of the time you spent in Hell ran through your mind. Every touch, every word. Crowley flooded your senses.

          Then your mind turned to the last nine years. Nine years of putting yourself back together. Nine years of becoming completely whole again. Nine years of independence. Nine years of finally finding out who you were.

          You found the strength to push Crowley away. “You thought that was going to work?”

          He took a step back and winked. “Get your own room tonight, love.”

          In the next breath, he disappeared. It didn’t take the Winchesters long to come out of the room.

          “What the hell was that?” Dean asked.

          “That was Crowley trying to catch me in his web again.” You rolled your eyes, still calming down from the kiss. “He wants me to get my own room tonight.”

          “Are you going to?” Sam asked, eyebrows drawn together.

          “Hell no. He just wants another pet. I’ve changed a lot in nine years. If he really wants  _me_  then he’s gonna have to work for it. Now c’mon. Cas needs us in Cali.”

          Thankfully the topic of you and Crowley dropped, though the Winchesters kept tossing contemplative glances at you every once in a while.

          A few hours later, Dean changed the easy conversation you’d been having back to Crowley. “You know, maybe you should get your own room?”

          “Excuse me?” He couldn’t be serious.

          Dean’s cheek twitched and that’s when you knew that he was plotting something that he thought was funny. “Yeah. Get back in Crowley’s good graces and convince him to give you a hellhound.”

          “Oh my god, Dean. Just drop it.” What is was with him and hellhounds, you had no idea.

          “What? You get laid, we get a pet hellhound. Everyone’s happy.”

          “Whatever, Dean,” you mumbled, pulling out your iPod and putting your earbuds in. This was going to be a  _long_  car ride if he couldn’t get over the hellhound thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**~THREE MONTHS LATER~**

          “Oh my God, I need a break from you guys,” you groaned as they, yet again, started bickering over the smallest thing.

          A week ago they started arguing over Dean’s choice of music in the car. Really? It’s the same music they’ve been listening to for over a decade and suddenly Sam gets annoyed? And a while later, Dean’s teasing about Sam’s health food turned a little mean and Sam snapped back. Then Sam stole Dean’s car in retaliation and left for two days for one of his  _Find Buddah, Eat, Pray, Meditate_  trips without letting either of you know. Dean had been a roiling thunderstorm until he saw his precious car.

          This was worse than when they got into a prank war and you were stuck in the middle.

          “See what you’ve done, Sam?” Dean said, smacking his brother’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “You’ve made Y/N uncomfortable.”

          “I’m not uncomfortable,” You shot back, “I’m annoyed and done with you two. I’m getting my own room tonight. You two better figure out your shit because I’m not playing Winchester Family Therapist.”

          “No one ever asked you to,” Dean snapped.

          He pulled the Impala into a parking spot in the motel parking lot and you unbuckled, slid forward, and rested your arms on the back of the front seat until your head was next to his. “Yeah? Well no one ever asked you to be a whiny little bitch, but here we are.”

          Grabbing your bags, you headed towards the front office to get another room. Over your shoulder you tossed your parting words at them. “Get your shit together, boys.”

          Their grumbles faded behind you as they headed to their room and you walked further into the autumn air. Was this what it was like to have siblings? You’d always thought of the Winchesters as your hunting partners. Friends, sure. But brothers? Were you the level-headed sibling who cleaned up after her two immature brothers?

          The thought wasn’t unwelcome. After you’d killed your parents, you never thought that you’d ever be a part of a family again. But maybe you’d been wrong.

          A bell tinkled above the door to the motel office when you entered, drawing the attention of the older woman behind the counter. Her lips drew up in a warm, crinkly smile. “Hi there, dear. What can I do for ya?”

          “I’d like a room, please.”

          “Need a break from those two handsome men you came with a few days ago?” The lady started ringing you up with the kind of laid back movements that only came from years of practice.

          Being around another woman was a breath of fresh air. The only other woman you were ever around was Baby, and you couldn’t have a conversation with her. “Don’t get me wrong, I love them to death. But they’re… well, they’re still boys.”

          “I hear ya there, honey. A girl’s gotta have some time to herself. Get away from all that testosterone.”

          “Exactly. I’m looking forward to a nice long bath without either of them banging on the door for me to hurry up.”

          She laughed. “That taller one looks like he spends more time in the bathroom working his hair than any woman I know.”

          Your own laughter burst forward. “Oh, you don’t even  _know_  just how much shit we give him for that.”

          “Well, I’ve put you in a room with a jacuzzi tub. We’re mostly empty, so I charged you the same as a regular room, dear. You look like you could use more than just a nice, long bath.” She leaned forward as if about to tell you a secret. “Between you and me, sometimes I sneak into those rooms and slip into those tubs myself. Get a nice book, turn on some calm music, and turn up the jets in there.”

          “That sounds magical. Thank you so much.”

          After paying her and finishing up a conversation that lasted for ten more minutes, you trekked across the parking lot and used the key that you still had to the Winchesters’ room to grab your things. Sam and Dean were on opposite beds, Sam on his laptop and Dean with his headphones on and eyes closed.

          “This isn’t what I meant by working your shit out,” you mumbled as you moved around the room to collect your things.

          Sam just grunted. Dean didn’t even hear you.

          The door opened again, making you and Sam jerk your heads over to it. You really wished you were already in your room because your least-favorite King of Hell came strolling in like he owned the place. “Hello boys.” He tilted his head at you with an infuriating grin toying with his lips. “Hello love.”

          No way were you going to play his game. Not today. You already had enough with the Winchesters. So you kicked Dean’s bed until he opened his eyes and glared at you. All you did was tilt your head towards the door and he was scrambling up in annoyance, pulling his headphones off.

          “What are you doing here, Crowley?”

          “And you ever hear of knocking?”

          Well, the Winchesters had this under control. You gathered the last few pieces of clothing that were on the floor next to your duffle and heaved the bag over your shoulder. “Well, this is a lovely meeting, but I’ve got big plans for tonight and I’m sure you came to talk to the Winchesters, so I’ll get out of your hair.”

          “What kind of plans?” Dean asked petulantly. He didn’t like being left out of anything that could be fun. You just winked at him and held a finger to your lips, showing that it was a secret.

          Crowley’s eyes were on you as you took the first few steps towards the door and, ultimately, towards him. “What if I came to talk to you, love?”

          “That’s unfortunate for you, because I’m not going to talk to you. I’ve got plans and they don’t involve a surprise visit from my ex-lover. Strange, right?” Satisfied with that parting line, you brushed past him and headed back into the cool air of changing seasons. As soon as the door was closed between you two, you took a few deep breaths to center yourself before headed to the other side of the motel where your jacuzzi tub was waiting.

**~NINE YEARS BEFORE~**

          Being topside again was jarring. Everything in Hell was muted and dark. It was easy. Up here there was so much life. So many people, rushing around to do so many things. There were bright colors and cars speeding about.

          Overwhelming, is what it was.

          “Screw you, Crowley,” You muttered, pulling your jacket tighter around you. He thought that sending you back up here with a credit card that would magically be paid off every month made up for the fact that he was abandoning you? For plopping you right in the middle of the hustle and bustle you so desperately wanted to avoid?

          It was time he learned that he couldn’t just toy with someone’s feelings then leave them alone. You had to make him feel even a fraction of what you were feeling now. Abandoned. Thrown out. Damaged. Unworthy. Lost.

          “Have you seen the new movie yet?” A teenage girl asked her friend as they walked past.

          “The one about the monster hunters? Yeah! It was so good!”

          They moved further away, and their conversation became unintelligible. But it had sparked an idea.

          While you were in Hell, you’d listened in on enough conversations to know about hunters. The real monster hunters, not the Hollywood kind. You knew that Crowley thought they were nuisances. He hated them.

          It was perfect.

          You walked around the city until you found a library with free computers to use. It took a few searches until you found the kind of weapons shop that you needed. If you were going to stay away from drugs and not give back into your addiction, then you were going to need another release.

          Shooting guns and killing demons seemed like a wonderful substitution.

**~NOW~**

          Even knowing that Crowley was nearby, you were more relaxed than you’d been in months. The lady at the front desk, Riley, had given you some lavender scented candles and half a bottle of wine, the warm water was hugging your body, and the jets in the tub were on low, massaging your sore muscles. It was a night like hunters only dreamt of.

          You would definitely have to find some amazing way to thank Riley for the room, the candles, and the wine. She was an angel sent from… well, not from above. Heaven didn’t like you that much. Hell wasn’t an option either. Riley was whatever the real-life version of an angel sent from above was.

 _God_ , you’d needed this.

          Reaching over, you grabbed the wine bottle and took another sip before setting it down and turning the jets up a little higher. The increased pressure massaged against muscles you hadn’t even known were sore, and a satisfied moan escaped your lips.

          “I’ve missed that sound.”

          The unexpected voice in the bathroom made you jump and nearly knock over the bottle of wine. But it only took you a second longer to recognize the accent and you sank back into the water, closing your eyes. You didn’t want to see him.

          “What the fuck are you doing here, Crowley?”

          “I see you got your own room,” he said, not answering your question. “Wine, candles in a dark bathroom…”

          “Fuck off, none of this is for you.”

          “Are you sure about that?” And there was that damn tone of voice. The one that said he knew better. That you didn’t know what you were talking about. You weren’t even going to grace that with a reply.

          You heard him move around the small room, but didn’t bother opening your eyes. When he’d first shown up three months ago, your defenses against him weren’t strong enough. Thank God that the Winchesters were around to keep you in check. But here? Alone in a candle lit bathroom? Sure, you’d had three more months to build up your defenses, especially knowing that Crowley wasn’t avoiding you.

          But you weren’t sure if you were that strong yet.

          “You sure have gotten feisty, haven’t you?”

          “I’ve always been feisty,” you murmured. “The drugs just dulled it for a while.”

          Even with your eyes closed, you could still feel where he was. He’d moved from his seat on the toilet to pacing the small area between the sink and the tub, and now he was moving to sit on the edge of the tub.

          “Oh, love, I figured that out.”

          Without your permission, your eyes opened and sought him out. His suit coat was hung on the back of the door, tie loosened, and the cuffs on his shirt were undone.

          “Then why don’t you leave? After all, it wasn’t too long after you met drug-free feisty me that you sent me away. You just couldn’t deal with having someone defy you anywhere, much less in the bedroom. I doubt much has changed in the last few years for you.”

          A wicked grin covered his lips, making the long-forgotten heat curl in your stomach. He leaned forward, bracing his hands on the edge of the tub on either side of your shoulders. “Good thing we’re not in the bedroom then.”

          You needed to get out of this situation. You needed him to leave. You needed to get some clothes on. You needed to turn on the lights. You needed…

          Your eyes traveled down to his lips.

          You needed to kiss him.

          It wouldn’t mean anything. But you’d gotten your own room to get away from the Winchesters to relax. This bath had done wonders for that. But what better way to end the night than have sex with the one man who had ever made you come so completely undone that your body turned to mush and you melted into the mattress?

          Fuck. No. No way. This wasn’t you talking.

          You pushed him away, leaving a wet handprint on the shoulder of his black shirt. Surprisingly, he went easily. After downing the last of the wine, you reached down and pulled up the stopper so the water could drain out of the tub. Then you stood up, pushed Crowley further away so you could grab a towel and wrap it around you.

          You’d spent too damn long putting yourself back together to give into Crowley now.

**~SIX YEARS AGO~**

          “…tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!“ The last word of your exorcism rang in the air and the demon you trapped in the devil’s trap smoked out with that horrifying scream that always accompanied it. As soon as the black smoke was gone, you rushed forward to check on the person in the chair. It took a minute, but you found a weak pulse.

          “Oh, thank God,” you muttered. You finally figured out how to kill the demon, but save the human.

          “Your pronunciation could use a little work,” a deep voice sounded behind you. In the next breath, your gun was out, aimed at the newcomer.

          Well, newcomers. Two men were standing a few feet away in the old warehouse, hands held out to the side. The taller one took a tiny step forward. “We’re not gonna hurt you. Promise.”

          “I’m the one with a gun,” you pointed out. “You’re the ones who should be worried.”

          “You  _do_ know what you’re doing,” the shorter one conceded. “This is the third hunt we’ve shown up on just for you to finish it for us. You’re good at this.”

          “Hunters?” The barrel of your gun slowly lowered.

          “I’m Dean, this is my brother Sam.”

          Sam and Dean. Crowley spoke of them a lot when you were in hell. There was a tangled history there. “The Winchesters.”

          Seeing your gun down gave Dean all the permission he needed to put his own hands down and cautiously walk closer. “You’ve heard of us?”

          “Who hasn’t?” It was true. Even if Crowley hadn’t spoken of them, you’d been around enough hunter’s bars to know about the legendary Winchester brothers. “You’ve seen me before?”

          “Yeah.” Dean answered as he walked over to the guy still tied up in the chair. He withdrew a knife and cut the poor man free. “You finally figured how to keep them alive. Good job.”

          Sure, the Winchesters were legendary, and sure you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. But you still kept your back to a wall and both of them in your eyesight. Trust didn’t come easily to you. “Pretty sure the demons inside killed the human before I came on the scene the last few times.”

          “I reckon you’re right.” A slight midwestern accent peeked through Dean’s words.

          This time it was Sam who spoke up. “You only go after demon hunts.”

          “You’ve done your research on me, haven’t you?”

          “We’ve asked around. Why demons?”

 _That_  wasn’t a conversation you were going to have. Ever. Especially with these two. So you just gave your usual fall back answer.

          “Not everyone can be as great of hunters as you two. You guys know how to kill nearly every monster. I just specialize in demons.” A glance at the man who was just starting to stir brought to mind all of the other humans who had died. “Well, trying to, anyway.”

          The brothers shared a look before Dean nodded. “Why don’t we get this guy to the hospital, then you let us buy you a drink? We can give you a few tips.”

          Who were you to pass up a chance to learn from the Winchesters? Besides, if Crowley was keeping tabs on you, then knowing you were hanging around the Winchesters for a night was sure to tick him off.

          “That sounds great.”

**~NOW~**

          Both boys watched you carefully as you entered the diner the next day. You knew what they were wondering, but you didn’t feel like giving in quite so quickly. So you slid into the booth next to Dean and picked up a menu. With their eyes still on you, you casually asked, “So did you two figure out your shit?”

          “Did you sleep with Crowley?” Dean asked, a slight acidic bite in his voice.

          Slowly, you set your menu down on the table and met Sam’s eyes first, then Dean’s. Folding your hands on top of the table, you adopted a long suffering tone of voice. “Since you two are  _so interested_  in my sex life,  _no_. I did not sleep with Crowley last night. He tried, I almost did, but no. Like I said, he’s going to have to try harder than that if he really wants me. Now, did you two work out your shit? Because if I have to play Winchester Family Therapist, then I’m going to start charging you two by the hour.”

          They grumbled, but it seemed like it was just the normal grumbling. Hopefully their shit was sorted, because this hunt was over and you had another one down in Mexico. There was no way you were going to spend another twenty hours in the car with these two giant babies.

          Conversation flowed easier over breakfast and you breathed a sigh of relief. That is, until Dean brought up Crowley again.

          “So I’m taking it since you didn’t fuck him, we don’t have a pet hellhound?”

          “Oh my  _God_ , Dean.”


End file.
